To Them

The judgments, the pretensions

The absence of knowledge leading to stronger perceptions

He says I should do this, she says I should do that, they say that this is what I need to

I don’t need to do anything except spend my day like I like too

I lost myself when I left you behind

I lost myself when I left myself behind

Who knew the challenge of being a woman? Of always climbing the ladder through a man?

The men will be your shoulders, your ladders, your rungs

Then they will be your prisoners, your should-do tellers, your unformed opinions,

When he let me fly, he let me free

Then he promised to only support me

Why then he chains me, binds me

Only his opinions surround me

Can a woman never be truly free? Should she always be validated

from her father, her boyfriend, her all to-be’s

Only you don’t exist.

I am a person, not your opinion

I am a human, not your judgement

Your phones might help but its never the solution. It’s me

If I refuse to become, the challenge laughs at me

Each day I fly into uncharted territory

Every new endeavor is a war to be waged

Lightly or ferociously

Pleasantly or cunningly

I am me, not any other’s version of me, not any other’s expectation of me

I am a  constant struggle in a man’s world

I am a woman

I am not my profile pictures, I am not my habits

I am neither the way I file my taxes

I am not my cousin, I am not how I cook

I am neither the way my tattoo looks

I am not my burn-scars, I am not my weight

I am neither my marriageable age

I might be my parents’ reflection and of everybody else who raised me

After all, reflections are always reversed to reality

My left your right

My side always opposite to your side

I am all of this but concurrently none of these. I am me

Please, please, let me be

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Sunrise

It started as thick as a strand of hair far far away on the horizon. A unique colour of bright gold dipped in the essence of orange. Finally, the stars could see what they were craving to witness all night. Their lovers whom they could never meet. Blades of grass; tiny, little but mighty, stretching themselves up, reaching out to them. The heavy dewdrops tried to bring them down, pulled them. They tried to distract them with their tempting beauty but the resolve of the blades never fluttered.

They were determined to reach out just as a lovestruck is determined to brave anything for another’s heasunrise_fields_8922914_by_stockproject1-d38k18rrt of promise, of security, of love, of tranquility.

That strand had started to widen at an even pace, pouring a blue-infused-gold all over the soft green field. It was the kind that instilled a comfortable cold silent chill everywhere. Only the music of the nightingale could be heard.

In that perfection, a silhouette could be seen. An outline so attractive it would make somebody’s heart jump with the happiness that excitement brings.
He approached me and sung some words of kindness; whispered a word or two of warmth. The right words, words that sounded like a Welcome song, a melodious invitation to be a part of his unusual life.

The sun had started to shine bright, comforting the both of us.
In that life-changing moment, I knew it was the start of something new, something great, something absolutely wonderful.

The Escape

The nature of art is is not just beautiful, it’s complicated, contentious, deeply emotional. It’s capable of giving you wings. Art propounds not that which is superficial, not that which is obvious but that which is almost always unsaid between two lovers, two friends; between families.

It stems from the love , the pain, the laughter that moves inwards; the happiness that makes the best of memories. It’s an expression unlike any other, it’s almost always the truth.

It’s an escape that everybody craves for but very few get. The escape that makes life worthwhile. The silent escapes from where hopes are born, and dreams. The dreams that push us to keep doing what we do, each arduous day after the next. The dreams that make us pursue unrequited love, chase it after every defeat.

These escapes lend comforts of a lover’s arms, a mother’s lap, a father’s proud gaze, in the pursuit of passion, in convenience.

Its the idea of an escape that brings an art to life.

My idea of escape?

You.

-Snigs

A new beginning

He found her, he found himself

She promised him a home, he gave her a family.

They were madly in love; foolish, understanding, caring.

They were friends of the best kind,

Awaiting an unknown adventure.

They dreamt of the Earth, of songs, of growth, parents and future.

They dreamt of the ultimate happiness; love.

Embarking on a journey together lasting eternity.

Bon Voyage!

 

For Juhi Di, Aditya Jijs, Purva Di and Kartik Jijs :*

Cheers to a new family.

Sunlight

The moving window never looked so beautiful. The view kept changing but the warmth stayed; the sunlight shone bright. Such an experience is hard to come by in the winters of New York. The mosaic beyond the window; the colours of the fall, seemed to dance in the glittering gold. As I squinted my eyes, I could just make out the colours of my sweater looking happy in the sun, the shine in my hair glad to have found a loving,  gentle touch and the gorgeous ticker tape fixed in the window frame moving with the speed of the subway.

This still remains my favourite section of the ride till the darkness of the underground Grant Ave sucks the tube into it and reminds me of what still needs to be done in the day ahead. This warmth however, is of no ordinary distinction. It is the kind that knocks on memories.

This is the closest I have come to feeling as comfortable as I did lying under the blanket with my mother and father, holding her hand and troubling him while he solved Sudoku. From so far away, home seems to be a distant heaven. The comfort of the sun and the feel of the blankets around you when you are home as you can distantly hear your mother’s bangles clinking while she is hard at work in the house are not very different. The joy of putting a smile on your Dad’s face as you tease him brings you the same satisfaction and affection as the sun bestows on us every other morning. Lying by the pond, reading; waiting for a hint of sound from my Dad’s car as he heads home from office seems to be an under-appreciated luxury now.

However, the good thing about sunlight is, it is bound to shine. It might not bestow us with its love each day but you know that after many cold, cloudy days you will bask in the sun. It might be irregular; absent for long periods, but its existence is unquestionable. Its love toward you is unquestionable.

The sunlight will shine upon you, for that is its nature.

c25k Update!

Hi folks!

A quick update! Since the past few weeks I have been trying to regain my lost level of fitness and I have finally managed to achieve it. I am running 5 kms every session of gymming. My primary goal to do this was so that I could be active enough each day to be fully functional with just four hours of sleep. I am happy to tell that I am managing to do it fairly well.

So what next? Well of course I want to keep getting fitter. Therefore, I am opting to eat healthy on a student budget. Any foreign student who has done or is pursuing masters understands the concept of shared cooking and splitwised groceries. Well, my housemates decided to go the independent way today (an opportune time to switch to healthier options while my friends are planning to go on the GM diet :O ).

So my plan is to maintain a blog journal of what I am eating and how much I am working out so that we can track my progress on a weekly basis. I encourage people who have any scope of switching diets to join me as the suggestions that I am getting is from legit source (CEO Yos Forever).

The plan starts from tomorrow! I am super excited!

Lets do this! B-)

Beginnings at New York City

New York Festival of Lights

Captured by Shishir Banchhor

Hello people!

This happens to be my first blog from the United States of America.The gap in my writing (despite your mails) has been so long that most of you won’t call me a blogger anymore. I apologize, my excuse being that settling in a city so far away from friends and family is not an easy task albeit the city happens to be New York 😀 . However events from the past few days have shook me and are compelling me to look beyond the deadlines and the general mastery of academic material. Its compelling me to look for fulfilment and excitement.

Two things have hit me last week.

A friend of mine was talking enthusiastically about the best places to eat, the best cars to own, the best places to see, the best  interview questions and the best experiences to have after we had recently witnessed the Festival of Light at the archway under the Manhattan bridge and I wondered why these things haven’t been exciting me since the day I came here. I wondered how close I have moved to being dead. The absence of adrenaline rushes while I am in my prime age in a city that stubbornly refuses to slow down happens to be a recent development as in India I had never experienced such scarcities. NYFOL took me high, after weeks and weeks of efforts to keep up with the deadlines.

The other event happens to be catching up with an old friend of mine who also happens to be the CEO and Co-founder of Yos Forever. A few hours with her reminded me that it is as essential to enjoy the process of working as it is to work hard at your job. She and I have also entered into a project about which I will share in my upcoming posts.

The whole point of writing this blog is to get my fingers into shape as I will be doing a lot more typing here. Tonight I vow to pump in excitement, happiness and fulfilment in my life through whichever means possible. I will share the things that might be useful for others.

Apologies for absence.

Hope you are having a great weekend!!

Love

Snigs

😀